It's not your fault!

 The topic of this blog is challenging for me to write about due to the nature of the subject matter. I suspect that your initial reaction to the heading was one of curiosity. "What" is it that is 'not your fault', or mine. Let me start by asking you a question. Do you believe that you are responsible for the choices your children and their children make? Well, this is a subject matter that I have struggled with for many years. I will start by briefly discussing my own parents.

I do not blame my mother for choices she made that may have negatively affected my life. Nor do I blame my father for not being present at all in my life until I was six years old, and then, only with a limited and unsustainable scope. And without any notable positive influence. I think that both my parents did the best they could with what they had in terms of their mental health, emotional maturity, etc. I am grateful for the other positive adult role models in my life including teachers, coaches, and relatives, especially my maternal grandparents.

I believe that the choices I have made in my life are mine to own, good or not. I am a Christ follower and have believed in Jesus as long as I can remember, even if I was not always following His teachings. I am able to recognize that the choices I have made that have negatively affected my life, were done so void of godly wisdom or counsel. The choices I have made with positive outcomes, in comparison, were done so overall with Godly wisdom at the core of those decisions.

What does all that have to do with decisions our progeny make, you might ask?! Well, that is the kicker. We teach what we know, and those we teach, also, in turn teach what they know. That is why it is so very important especially for men to step up and be godly examples for their children. How they treat their wife demonstrates to the children how they should be treated and how to treat others. If men do not follow simple Godly principles, they will give their children a distorted picture of what God intends for mankind in terms of relational integrity. No one is perfect, but that being said, poor choices build on one another similar to how good choices do. When this happens, they can snowball into negative consequences for generations to come. Women need to respect their husbands, which can be hard to do if decisions made by the men are of a selfish nature and not God infused.

I believe that we all have the responsibility to teach our children Godly principles, yet it can be more of a struggle than we may want to admit when we are dealing with challenges in our own lives. I am in a stage of my life now where I have been able to see the results of poor decisions of my own progeny as well as the choices of their children that can potentially have long-term negative effects on their lives as well as the lives of others. I know that logically it is not my fault, I am not responsible for their choices, yet cannot help but have some regrets. I think that if I had been a better example, that their lives would be better and my heart would not be so heavy. 

So, the moral of this story is, be bold in standing up for what is good, and what is right, and what is true. Love in the way that is described in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. Take heed of the life advice as described in the entire book of Proverbs, (Proverbs 22:6 even says: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.") and trust in the one true God who created the heavens and earth and all that ever was, is, or will be while praying about and giving thanks in all things.

I would love to hear your thoughts!



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